I would never ask to hold an infant. They make me nervous. They have no bones and seem very breakable. I was a ball of nerves with Brody. So completely unsure and anxious about everything. If my mother hadn't been here for 3 weeks after Brody's birth I am seriously not sure how I would have managed. When he cried, I cried. Everything seemed so dad-gum HARD! He was a high-maintenance newborn, for sure. But my inexperience only amplified the stress on all of us. As amazing as my little Brody man is and as thankful as I am for him I have to admit that the first year was rough.
The good news is that Mia is an 'angel baby'. The other good news is that apparently, I'm a quick learner! Either that or it's just plain easier the second time around. I am loving every single second of this. She's so easy and sweet.
I could not have asked for a better birth experience. I was very anxious the night before the surgery. Afraid we'd miss the alarm, I woke up just about every hour after 1am till finally getting up at 5am for a quick shower, pack and short drive to the hospital by 6am. When we got there, Kevin set up his computer to run a slide-show of Brody. The heaviness of the moment finally caught up with me and the water-works started up. Being in the hospital again, being reminded of our experience with Bubba, knowing that I'm about start all over again, heading into major surgery...it was a bit overwhelming. We quickly shut down the slide show.
Kevin has given a great description of the surrealness of the OR. It was awesome to be a part of it this time. Dr. Ramos (a genius) actually remembered that 3 years ago I was snoring during post op. I was exhausted and pretty stoned the first time around. I've always mourned the fact that I didn't get the 'emotional' experience of childbirth that I always saw on A Baby Story! This time, I really got to be a part of it all. When the nurses showed me Mia I actually surprised myself by the rush of emotion that came over me. Relief. Amazement. Joy. I got to be there this time and it was good.
I'll tell you what else...being in the hospital for a few days is a bit like a vacation. Except for the catheter, IV, gigantic sanitary pads and total inability to move without sharp pains to the abdomen and a completely numb bottom (b/c I couldn't lay on my sides)! Getting to stay in bed for 3 straight days, have food brought to you, visitors with gifts, staring at your baby's face for hours at a stretch...that was vacation. I was glad to get home and be with Brody again. My heart literally ached for him while we were apart. Thankfully, I knew that he was having the time of his life with Grandmama.
Speaking of Brody...he has adjusted really well to Baby Sister (or "Scratchen" if you ask him). He is interested but not obsessed. She's around and he'll occasionally ask to hold her but for the most part, he chooses his dinosaurs and Cars cars over her. He's 100% 3-yr old right now which means we're still dealing with his strong will and limit-testing. But overall, he's a Prince. God has really give us more than we deserve. So thankful. So blessed. So at peace. So happy.