Thursday, June 01, 2006

Fairy Fortunata...

If I had a genie who could grant me just one wish it would be to have two hours and $200 to spend ALONE at Target. Is that two wishes? I'm gonna say no.

I think about my girlfriends like Summer and Dana who have three babies and wonder how on earth they do it?! I know those girls go to Target. How do they manage it. I haven't been on a leisurely Target trip in...I don't know how long?! Four years? I should explain first that Santa Barbara doesn't have a Target (or an Old Navy, forthatmatter!). The nearest Target is about 35 miles and who has time to take a 'quick trip' to Target when it takes that long to get there? Not me. When I'm in a Target town (every other city in the country) I have to stop by a Target at least once. Today was the day...

We're in Vegas - Kevin has work - and I figured I'd take Brody to Target in the morning to gear up for his afternoon nap. The dysfunction started in the parking lot. He wanted my phone. So I called my mom and let him jabber to her while I got the cart and took all the necessary steps it takes to get a shopping cart prepared for a baby these days...10 minutes later, he's in the cart. But where are my keys? Fast foward 5 minutes and I find them in the pocket of the cart cover where I had so cleverly and purposefully put them. Let the chaos begin....

* Number of containers of puffs poured on the floor: 1
* Number of times my cell phone was thrown on the floor: 3
* Number of toys I pulled off the Target shelves to entertain baby: 10
* Number of said toys returned to their original spot: 0
* Number of distracting work calls: 1
* Number of times I had to remove B from the cart: 2
* Number of carts he decided to push around: 3
* Number of hysterical hissy fits thrown because I wouldn't let him play with the ipod on display: 1...but it lasted 10 minutes so lets call it 10
* Number of butt faces to look at me like 'get control of your kid': 2
* Number of bags I managed to leave with: 6 (why would the ziploks get their own huge bag?)
* Number of total minutes spent in the store: maybe 15

Two hours alone in Target.....oh, what I wouldn't give....

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